In 1933, an overwhelmed and pissed off lady named Frau despatched a letter to psychologist Carl Jung, asking “the best way to dwell.”
(She didn’t have any Instagram influencers to yell motivational platitudes at her, I suppose)
Jung replied:
“Your questions are unanswerable, since you wish to understand how one should dwell. One lives as one can.
…when you do with conviction the subsequent and most crucial factor, you might be at all times doing one thing significant and meant by destiny.”
He was sharing the important thing to life.
It’s a part of restoration communities like Alcoholics Nameless.
It was even the title of a tune in Disney’s Frozen 2.
“The subsequent proper factor.”
Revisiting this story prompted me to replicate on how a lot my ideas on success and progress have modified over time.
“Success” Redefined
I’ve been doing this Nerd Health stuff for 15+ years.
Thousands and thousands of individuals go to the positioning yearly, 50,000+ clients have purchased stuff by NF, and our coaches have served 15,000+ 1-on-1 purchasers.
In that point, I’ve modified my perspective fairly a bit on “success” and “dwelling properly.”
I used to suppose that the one path to success required militant self-discipline following a selected plan. I by no means missed a exercise, and was unbelievably happy with this.
It didn’t happen to me simply how a lot of a privileged and easy life I lived, the place I used to be 100% in command of my time.
(Apologies to all of the dad and mom and caregivers who learn my 25-year outdated perspective!).
Now that I’m 40, and I can see the kinds of individuals we really assist with Nerd Health, I’ve modified my perspective on success and “dwelling properly” pretty dramatically.
Success occurs not after we discover ways to do every thing completely, however as an alternative after we get higher at staying afloat even when issues go poorly.
In different phrases, success is studying to be inconsistently constant. Studying to be ok for lengthy sufficient.
And meaning, when life appears chaotic, narrowing our focus all the way down to “the subsequent proper factor.”
Do the Subsequent Proper Factor
A latest publication from creator Oliver Burkeman talked about how he’s chosen to retain a tiny little bit of sanity in an amazing world.
It led me to those sentences from creator Eckert Tolle:
“What you check with as your “life” ought to extra precisely be referred to as your “life state of affairs.” It’s psychological time: previous and future.
…Overlook about your life state of affairs for some time and take note of your life.
Discover the “slender gate that results in life.” It’s referred to as the Now.
Slim your life all the way down to this second. Your life state of affairs could also be stuffed with issues — most life conditions are — however discover out you probably have any drawback at this second. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, however now.
Do you have got an issue now?
After we ruminate on what already occurred, and we freak out about all of the issues that would occur or must occur sooner or later…
It’s simple to really feel uncontrolled and overwhelmed.
Which brings us again to that cliché answer: “the subsequent proper factor.”
It’s a cliché solely as a result of it’s true.
We are able to zoom wayyyyyy in, and slender our focus to one thing that’s nonetheless in our management. In some conditions, sure, there’s a drawback proper now. And we will simply concentrate on that one factor.
However in lots of different conditions, it’s typically us worrying about all the issues that could be, or the issues outdoors of our management, that retains us from taking motion on the precise issues we will management.
Burkeman continues:
As for telling myself I solely wanted to do the very subsequent factor… you at all times solely can do the very subsequent factor, then the subsequent, whether or not you prefer it or not.
It’s just a little unusual, really, to check with any of those methods as “narrowing your horizons”, as in the event that they concerned in some way artificially limiting your self.
Actually, you’re simply consciously recognizing how restricted you at all times already had been.
Everyone knows how simple it’s for us to overcomplicate issues.
And when the world seems like a dumpster fireplace, it may possibly assist to zoom method into that subsequent choice, the tiniest purpose, and simply do the subsequent proper factor.
It would contain a exercise or a stroll, specializing in the subsequent meal, calling up our therapist, or lastly saying no to a dedication.
If “now” is the one time that exists, then “the subsequent proper factor” is the one factor that we will actually do.
I’m gonna go do the subsequent proper factor for me: take a stroll.
-Steve
PS: Maria Popova has an incredible writeup about “the subsequent proper factor” because it pertains to her life as a author that impressed this piece.
PPS: Nerd Health is hiring just a few distant, part-time people (particularly with versatile nights and weekends) to take inbound, scheduled calls from potential purchasers about our 1-on-1 teaching. Click on right here to be taught extra.
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